Resonant Leadership

Being away from the computer for 16 hours means I can do some thinking about my life. At the airport I bought a book just on a whim. I like reading business books, so grabbed Resonant Leadership by Richard Boyatzis and Annie McKee.

It spoke to me, cause I see myself making many of the same mistakes that the executives are making. Not spending enough energy on relationships. Or on myself (lack of exercise is one of the warning signs they point out).

One thing I picked up on in the book is how many times they used the words relationship and listening. Listening is a hard thing to do. I find that lately I’m having a tougher time listening and just being there for my friends and family. They call this the “sacrifice syndrome” and they say that many leaders fall into this kind of rut.

The book overall won’t appeal to everyone. It’s a bit mushy and gets into the spiritual side of life a bit more than your average business book. But, that’s especially what a lot of managers need in this “all tech, all the time” world.

They have tons of deep work with executives at recognizable companies and detail where they derailed their careers and how they got them back on track.

How do you renew yourself? What business books have you gotten value out of? I’ll republish this over on our book blog too.

  • http://peterdawson.typepad.com/ /pd

    Oh you should try “sixty” by Tom Peters !! Totally out of this world , its his best cut ever !!

  • http://peterdawson.typepad.com /pd

    Oh you should try “sixty” by Tom Peters !! Totally out of this world , its his best cut ever !!

  • Brooks Jordan

    “Not Fade Away : A Short Life Well Lived” by Laurence Shames, Peter Barton

    “You couldn’t know Peter Barton and not know he would face dying in the most adventurous and original way. . . . This is a book full of insight and comfort, wisdom and hope.”
    -Barry Diller

    Barton tells us how it feels to die while the party is still raging, offering us glimpses of a life that packed in everything from being a professional ski bum to working as an aide to New York State governor Hugh Carey to huge success as a visionary businessman (Barton helped found MTV, among other achievements). Readers will be knocked out by his honesty and his utter lack of self-pity or sentimentality. (Publisher’s Weekly)
    -

  • Brooks Jordan

    “Not Fade Away : A Short Life Well Lived” by Laurence Shames, Peter Barton

    “You couldn’t know Peter Barton and not know he would face dying in the most adventurous and original way. . . . This is a book full of insight and comfort, wisdom and hope.”
    -Barry Diller

    Barton tells us how it feels to die while the party is still raging, offering us glimpses of a life that packed in everything from being a professional ski bum to working as an aide to New York State governor Hugh Carey to huge success as a visionary businessman (Barton helped found MTV, among other achievements). Readers will be knocked out by his honesty and his utter lack of self-pity or sentimentality. (Publisher’s Weekly)
    -

  • http://www.micropersuasion.com/ Steve Rubel

    Scoble, have you read The Success Principles?

  • http://www.micropersuasion.com Steve Rubel

    Scoble, have you read The Success Principles?

  • http://scobleizer.wordpress.com/ scobleizer

    Steve, nope, not yet. I’ll add that to my list. All of these sound interesting.

  • http://scobleizer.wordpress.com/ scobleizer

    Steve, nope, not yet. I’ll add that to my list. All of these sound interesting.

  • http://scobleizer.wordpress.com/ scobleizer

    Steve: one thing is I’m where I want to be. Now what? :-)

  • http://scobleizer.wordpress.com/ scobleizer

    Steve: one thing is I’m where I want to be. Now what? :-)

  • http://edico.blogspot.com/ Stefan Constantinescu

    Ever since I started waking up a little bit earlier to run for just 15 minutes it’s changed my life completely.

    I’m not talking about jogging, or speed walking, I’m talking run as fast as you can, until your heart is pounding out of your chest, for about 15 minutes.

    The way you start your day, all energized and ready to take on challenges is very nice indeed. Something as simple as that, people overlook.

    As for books to read… honestly pick up a book by the philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre, one of the greatest existentialists of our time. Particularly this one:

    http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0806501626/002-3862342-2951253?v=glance&n=283155&v=glance

    The thing people don’t understand is responsibility, the freedom of choice, and seeing things from an outsiders view.

    Hope your enjoying Europe Robert, I go every year and always come back 15+ pounds heavier. The food is AMAZING!

  • http://edico.blogspot.com/ Stefan Constantinescu

    Ever since I started waking up a little bit earlier to run for just 15 minutes it’s changed my life completely.

    I’m not talking about jogging, or speed walking, I’m talking run as fast as you can, until your heart is pounding out of your chest, for about 15 minutes.

    The way you start your day, all energized and ready to take on challenges is very nice indeed. Something as simple as that, people overlook.

    As for books to read… honestly pick up a book by the philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre, one of the greatest existentialists of our time. Particularly this one:

    http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0806501626/002-3862342-2951253?v=glance&n=283155&v=glance

    The thing people don’t understand is responsibility, the freedom of choice, and seeing things from an outsiders view.

    Hope your enjoying Europe Robert, I go every year and always come back 15+ pounds heavier. The food is AMAZING!

  • http://www.syntagmamedia.com/ John

    Try SynchroDestiny by Deepak Chopra. Opens up a new universe for anyone involved with anything.

  • http://www.syntagmamedia.com/ John

    Try SynchroDestiny by Deepak Chopra. Opens up a new universe for anyone involved with anything.

  • Anonymous

    About exercise and diet, the most effective and useful book I’ve read and applied is The Paleo Diet by Loren Cordain. It is based on Anthropological and genetic studies of which foods humans are geneticaly adjusted to. There’s a list of research publications Cordain’s Paleo Diet site. When I went on the diet I ate as much as I wanted of the food groups, felt healthy and went into my weight range.

  • http://www.cirne.com Enric

    About exercise and diet, the most effective and useful book I’ve read and applied is The Paleo Diet by Loren Cordain. It is based on Anthropological and genetic studies of which foods humans are geneticaly adjusted to. There’s a list of research publications Cordain’s Paleo Diet site. When I went on the diet I ate as much as I wanted of the food groups, felt healthy and went into my weight range.

  • http://edico.blogspot.com/ Stefan Constantinescu

    Eric: Diets are stupid because they are short lived. People always get off them. Personally I just stopped eatting crap and smaller meals more frequently and it helped me a lot. I used to be 300 pounds 2 years ago, now im coasting at around 215. :)

  • http://edico.blogspot.com/ Stefan Constantinescu

    Eric: Diets are stupid because they are short lived. People always get off them. Personally I just stopped eatting crap and smaller meals more frequently and it helped me a lot. I used to be 300 pounds 2 years ago, now im coasting at around 215. :)

  • Christopher Coulter

    Management of the Absurd: Paradoxes in Leadership (by Richard Farson), it be my ‘bible’.

    http://www.shearonforschools.com/Management%20of%20the%20Absurd%20Paradoxes%20in%20Leadership%20by%20Richard%20Farson/

    Listening is very rewarding in any relationship, but it requires much effort and focus. Moreover, there are times when it is not appropriate; when a leader must lead, not follow. And, despite having helped bring the term “active listening” into the language of managers, Dr. Farson rejects it as a “technique” for “managing” others. Rather, he stresses the importance of genuinely caring about others.

    Once You Find a Management Technique that Works, Give it Up - “…the author suggests that a manager who finds a technique that works, rather than “using” it to “manage” people, should abandon it as a conscious effort. Otherwise, the “managees” will sense that they are “being managed”, resent it, and the technique will therefore no longer work. In some sense, it is the same as suggesting that a great artist “transcends” technique.

  • Christopher Coulter

    Management of the Absurd: Paradoxes in Leadership (by Richard Farson), it be my ‘bible’.

    http://www.shearonforschools.com/Management%20of%20the%20Absurd%20Paradoxes%20in%20Leadership%20by%20Richard%20Farson/

    Listening is very rewarding in any relationship, but it requires much effort and focus. Moreover, there are times when it is not appropriate; when a leader must lead, not follow. And, despite having helped bring the term “active listening” into the language of managers, Dr. Farson rejects it as a “technique” for “managing” others. Rather, he stresses the importance of genuinely caring about others.

    Once You Find a Management Technique that Works, Give it Up - “…the author suggests that a manager who finds a technique that works, rather than “using” it to “manage” people, should abandon it as a conscious effort. Otherwise, the “managees” will sense that they are “being managed”, resent it, and the technique will therefore no longer work. In some sense, it is the same as suggesting that a great artist “transcends” technique.

  • http://teamaskins.net/ Ben Askins

    That introspective frame of mind is a great place to be Robert, it’s from there that you can institute change. I don’t really read business books, except this one I read called The Buddha on Managing Your Life and Business by Michael Roach. It’s all about turning the workplace into an environment for spiritual growth rather than thinking about your ‘work life’ and ‘spiritual life’ as seperate things.

    Just two weeks ago I realised I was doing very little for my own sense of well being, so I’ve started going along to the gym with Karen, my beautiful wife. It’s amazing the effect some regular exercise has on getting you out of a rut.

  • http://teamaskins.net/ Ben Askins

    That introspective frame of mind is a great place to be Robert, it’s from there that you can institute change. I don’t really read business books, except this one I read called The Buddha on Managing Your Life and Business by Michael Roach. It’s all about turning the workplace into an environment for spiritual growth rather than thinking about your ‘work life’ and ‘spiritual life’ as seperate things.

    Just two weeks ago I realised I was doing very little for my own sense of well being, so I’ve started going along to the gym with Karen, my beautiful wife. It’s amazing the effect some regular exercise has on getting you out of a rut.

  • Beto

    No books - just common sense. This worked for me:

    + Run every morning (see previous post - right on!).
    + Switch to vegetarian or at least cut on red meat completely. You will be amazed at how different you will feel.
    + Plan your vacation with your family in mind, and not with projects related schedules (they are always late anyway, arent’they?)
    + When on vacation leave your laptop at home. Don’t even feel tempted to check email on an internet cafe.
    + Limit your daily time in front of a computer screen. 40 hours a week is way MORE than enough.
    + Do work to live.
    + Do not live to work , as you appear to be , which you will regret it and by that time it may be too late.
    + Live simple - you will live a happier life , i.e ask yourself ¿ Do I need to have all the electronic gadgets out there?

  • Beto

    No books - just common sense. This worked for me:

    + Run every morning (see previous post - right on!).
    + Switch to vegetarian or at least cut on red meat completely. You will be amazed at how different you will feel.
    + Plan your vacation with your family in mind, and not with projects related schedules (they are always late anyway, arent’they?)
    + When on vacation leave your laptop at home. Don’t even feel tempted to check email on an internet cafe.
    + Limit your daily time in front of a computer screen. 40 hours a week is way MORE than enough.
    + Do work to live.
    + Do not live to work , as you appear to be , which you will regret it and by that time it may be too late.
    + Live simple - you will live a happier life , i.e ask yourself ¿ Do I need to have all the electronic gadgets out there?

  • Anonymous

    Stefan Constantinescu:

    I agree that diets are stupid. (Die before diet.)

    What makes sense about the Paleo Diet is that it theorizes (with scientific studies on Cordain’s site) that we are not genetically adjusted to the food developed from 10,000 years ago when the agricultural revolution began.

    That much of the problems of overweight, heart disease, diabetes and such don’t exist in aborginal societies. It is not about diet as eating the food that our bodies process correctly.

  • http://www.cirne.com Enric

    Stefan Constantinescu:

    I agree that diets are stupid. (Die before diet.)

    What makes sense about the Paleo Diet is that it theorizes (with scientific studies on Cordain’s site) that we are not genetically adjusted to the food developed from 10,000 years ago when the agricultural revolution began.

    That much of the problems of overweight, heart disease, diabetes and such don’t exist in aborginal societies. It is not about diet as eating the food that our bodies process correctly.

  • http://edico.blogspot.com/ Stefan Constantinescu

    Well my whole take on it, is jut to eat things as unprocessed as possible. I don’t eat bread, but I do eat lots of fruit, as well as rice. I try and stay close to nature. If it comes in some sort of box or can I don’t want it lol. I’m assuming that’s what the Paleo diet is all about, sticking close to nature. By the way I definitly enjoy your vlog, been watching it for a while!

  • http://edico.blogspot.com/ Stefan Constantinescu

    Well my whole take on it, is jut to eat things as unprocessed as possible. I don’t eat bread, but I do eat lots of fruit, as well as rice. I try and stay close to nature. If it comes in some sort of box or can I don’t want it lol. I’m assuming that’s what the Paleo diet is all about, sticking close to nature. By the way I definitly enjoy your vlog, been watching it for a while!

  • http://www.approachingnormal.com/ Larry Wright

    Not technically a business book, but I just finished reading “Ship It!” (review here). I’m on to another Pragmatic Bookshelf book now, “Behind Closed Doors”, which is all about managing people (particularly technical people). Read more here: http://www.pragmaticprogrammer.com/titles/rdbcd/index.html

  • http://www.approachingnormal.com Larry Wright

    Not technically a business book, but I just finished reading “Ship It!” (review here). I’m on to another Pragmatic Bookshelf book now, “Behind Closed Doors”, which is all about managing people (particularly technical people). Read more here: http://www.pragmaticprogrammer.com/titles/rdbcd/index.html

  • Anonymous

    Stefan Constantinescu:

    Thank you Stefan for letting me know you view and enjoy my vlog. It’s encouraging. I’ll be putting more up soon. ;)

    Basicaly it is correct about being close to nature. The Paleo Diet goes further based on anthropological research of what man ate before the agricultural revolution. The basic foods selectino is about 55% lean meet/fish (turkey breast, salmon, etc.) with the remaining as fruit and vegetables (unprocessed). This is a guide for what our genetics is probably designed for.

    So I’ve found first staying strictly on this diet without controlling the amount I ate in the food groups brought me to a weight I had in College which I wasn’t able to reach before by other methods I tried. And then using it as a guide but not being strict has kept me from gaining weight past a point I would otherwise from the foods available around me.

  • http://www.cirne.com Enric

    Stefan Constantinescu:

    Thank you Stefan for letting me know you view and enjoy my vlog. It’s encouraging. I’ll be putting more up soon. ;)

    Basicaly it is correct about being close to nature. The Paleo Diet goes further based on anthropological research of what man ate before the agricultural revolution. The basic foods selectino is about 55% lean meet/fish (turkey breast, salmon, etc.) with the remaining as fruit and vegetables (unprocessed). This is a guide for what our genetics is probably designed for.

    So I’ve found first staying strictly on this diet without controlling the amount I ate in the food groups brought me to a weight I had in College which I wasn’t able to reach before by other methods I tried. And then using it as a guide but not being strict has kept me from gaining weight past a point I would otherwise from the foods available around me.

  • http://scobleizer.wordpress.com/ scobleizer

    Beto: what I do every day is not work. I’ve done work in my life, and believe me, hanging out with the people I get to hang out with, and having the experiences I have, are not work.

  • http://scobleizer.wordpress.com/ scobleizer

    Beto: what I do every day is not work. I’ve done work in my life, and believe me, hanging out with the people I get to hang out with, and having the experiences I have, are not work.

  • solomonrex

    Book recommendation: Books of Matthew and Proverbs, from the Bible. It’s important to remember no matter how successful you are, or how good you feel, it’s more important to be a good person. Lots of dictators and terrorists feel good about themselves.

    I try to remember the old computer professor who doesn’t email anymore. Fascinating, and telling about our obsessive compulsive computer habits.

    http://www-cs-faculty.stanford.edu/~knuth/email.html

    And Stefan C., totally right about eating, worked for me.

  • solomonrex

    Book recommendation: Books of Matthew and Proverbs, from the Bible. It’s important to remember no matter how successful you are, or how good you feel, it’s more important to be a good person. Lots of dictators and terrorists feel good about themselves.

    I try to remember the old computer professor who doesn’t email anymore. Fascinating, and telling about our obsessive compulsive computer habits.

    http://www-cs-faculty.stanford.edu/~knuth/email.html

    And Stefan C., totally right about eating, worked for me.

  • http://www.800ceoread.com/blog Todd Sattersten

    Robert,

    I am a little late to the party, but here would be my suggested readings for the fall:

    Then We Set His Fire On Fire by Phil Dusenberry - this has the back stories of Pepsi, FedEx, and GE from the guy who made their ads. He says it is about finding insights, not ideas.

    The Undercover Economist by Tim Harford - This Financial Times economics writer has written what you wish would have been the text book for your freshmen econ class. He looks at everyday life and talks about things like where the profits from a cup of coffee really go and why health insurance is broken.

    The Number by Lee Eisenberg - Look for this one at the end of the month…Eisenberg take a Galdwell-like look at retirement and help you understand how much you are going to need…this is going to be a big book.

    [disc. - I work for 800-CEO-READ and sell business books for a living]

  • http://www.800ceoread.com/blog Todd Sattersten

    Robert,

    I am a little late to the party, but here would be my suggested readings for the fall:

    Then We Set His Fire On Fire by Phil Dusenberry - this has the back stories of Pepsi, FedEx, and GE from the guy who made their ads. He says it is about finding insights, not ideas.

    The Undercover Economist by Tim Harford - This Financial Times economics writer has written what you wish would have been the text book for your freshmen econ class. He looks at everyday life and talks about things like where the profits from a cup of coffee really go and why health insurance is broken.

    The Number by Lee Eisenberg - Look for this one at the end of the month…Eisenberg take a Galdwell-like look at retirement and help you understand how much you are going to need…this is going to be a big book.

    [disc. - I work for 800-CEO-READ and sell business books for a living]